Deadpan since the first retrograde

Astrology apparel for people who don't really believe in it.

Sarcastic shirts for the cosmically tired. Printed to order, shipped from the USA, blessed by absolutely no one.

Shop on Etsy → See the shirts

We take astrology exactly as seriously as it deserves. Which is to say, not very.

The collection, so far

Shirts for the spiritually unbothered. More whenever Mercury allows it.

White Probably Retrograde tee hanging in a styled boho scene Probably RetrogradeBella+Canvas 3001 · $24.99Shop this → White Cosmically Tired tee folded on a woven mat Cosmically TiredBella+Canvas 3001 · $24.99Shop this → White Your Aura Is Beige tee laid flat with styled props Your Aura Is BeigeBella+Canvas 3001 · $24.99Shop this → Black Manifesting Poorly tee hanging in a styled boho scene Manifesting PoorlyBella+Canvas 3001 · $24.99Shop this → Black Crystals Didn't Fix It tee laid flat with styled props Crystals Didn't Fix ItBella+Canvas 3001 · $24.99Shop this → Black Your Birth Chart Is A Red Flag tee folded on a woven mat Your Birth Chart Is A Red FlagBella+Canvas 3001 · $24.99Shop this →

Membership has no benefits.

There are no meetings. There is no newsletter. There is no group chat. There is only the shirt. If your birth chart is a red flag and your aura is beige, you're already in.

Join the society →